Jodoh adalah rahsia Allah.

'Jodoh adalah Rahsia Allah. Jika menyibukkan diri dgn hal jodoh, maka itu adalah perkara yg sia-sia kerana tidak yakin dgn Qada-qadar Allah. Tidak yakin makna tidak beriman, nauzubillah. Usah di fikirkan kerana jodoh akan datang tanpa di undang. Tetapi dengan syarat. Hendaklah mencintai Allah dulu, dengan sebenar-benar cinta. Dan jika Allah mencintai mu kembali, itu adalah nikmat yg paling besar dari Nya.kdg2 Allah melambatkan jodoh kita kerana Dia tahu, apabil kita sudah berkawin, kita akan jauh dari Nya.Gunakanlah masa 'single' mu utk mendekati Allah, kerana engkau akan disibukkan setelah kamu berumah tangga. Rugilah manusia yg sering berfikir bagaimana mencari jodoh, tetapi bukan bagaiman memanfaatkan masa terluang utk mendekati Allah. Sia-sia lah Allah memberi kamu masa.'' [NHO, Taken from facebook]

-

Diriku diduga, hanya untuk menambah kebolehan diriku. Insyaallah, I'll have my way light up. :) I still have hope. I will not despair. I will not back down.

"=.=

:) bubu. Je vous adore.

Kepastian Cinta

Hargailah wanita yang bernama ibu dan isteri kepada dirimu wahai kaum lelaki.

I was reading this note of a dearest friend of mine after sahur. Hope it will inspire you as much as it did to me.

I was watching tv after sahur. And the show was about a woman who greeted her husband from work with a sour face. She was angry because she feels/thought her husband would marry some other woman. I love the conversation made between the two.

Husband: Senyumlah sikit..

Wife: Saidatina Aisyah ada senyum kah masa Rasulullah kan kawin lagi?

The husband stayed quiet, while the wife repeats the same question again.

Husband: Tiada yang meriwayatkan bahawa Saidatina Aisyah senyum ketika Rasulullah ingin bernikah lagi. Tetapi yang pastinya Saidatina Aisyah menerima hakikat bahawa Rasulullah ingin bernikah lagi.

Wife: Jadi kamu menerima poligami yang di praktis Rasulullah? Kamu ingin bernikah lagi?

Husband: Astaghfirullah. Kenapa kamu curiga amat?

Wife: Kerana aku mencintai kamu lebih dari kamu mencintai aku.

And then a door-to-door salesperson came and the husband went out. The salesperson was selling the books that was written by the husband.

Husband: Kenapa aku mesti membeli apa yang aku punya?

Salesperson: Kadang kalanya kita harus membeli walaupun kita tahu kita yang punya.

Husband suddenly thinks about his wife. Maybe I must also buy her heart punya look on his face.

Husband: Bolehkah kita membeli kepercayaan isteri..?

Salesperson: ooo.. itu kita tidak boleh membelinya. Wanita ini memang lumrahnya curiga. Kita harus menjual apa yang disukainya.

Husband: apa?

Salesperson: Janji.

Then the husband went in and talked to his wife.

Husband: sorry ya. Hanya kamulah yang ada di hatiku.

Wife: *sarcastic* ooo terima kasih yaa. Suweet banget deh kamu. *rolls her eyes*

Husband: Kenapa kamu? Sudah aku serius, kamu bercanda.

Wife: okeh. Aku serius ni. Aku menghargai janji kamu.

Husband smiles and stood from his seat.

Wife: tetapi sorry saja tidak mencukupi. Kamu harus bicara sama KaLila (the girl that the wife was curiga of) bahawa kamu TIDAK akan menikahinya.

Husband: Kenapa aku harus bicara seperti itu? Gila apa? Kamu kejam sungguh ya.

Wife: Semua yang memiliki akan tampak lebih kejam kerna ingin melindungi apa yang dimilikinya.

Husband went out to masjid and talked to the imam.

Imam: Eh aneh banget sih. Kenapa kamu tidak bicara saja sama KaLila.

Husband: Gila!

Imam: Atau kamu masih membuka pintu kamu untuk mencintai.

Husband: Pintu aku sudah tutup!

Imam: Kamu yakin pintu kamu sudah tutup. Kamu tidak kunci barangkali.

Imam: Masih buka sedikit barangkali. Untuk di intip? *smiles knowingly*

Husband: Arrghh!

Imam: Kamu akan sibuk nanti.

Husband: kenapa?

Imam: Kamu memang pandai mencintai tapi tidak pandai memiliki. Kamu akan sibuk nanti kerana akan lahir wanita2 yang cantik dan kamu akan terus mencintai.

[Blackbuterfly]

life

Life is what you make out of it. It's the choices that makes us, Us. With hard work, determination, luck and keredhaanNya. InsyaAllah. Things will certainly go your way. Remember.

[blackbuterfly]

Au cafe de paris

Je garde norte amour pour toujours. Vous me donner la joie. Vous me donner un tel bonheur. Je suis bein avec toi, mon amour. Comme je vous aimes. Oui je vous aimes.

Un jour je te dirai que je vous aimes. C'est mots d'amour. Je le garde pour l'instance. Je vous aime, mon amour.

Toi, le monde. Ce soir je vais me dance avec mon amour. Oui je l'aime. Oui je vous aime.

Comme le premier soir au cafe de paris.

[blackbuterfly]

Awaiting Moment

Wuhhoo.. :)

Wuhhoooo... :)

Wuuuuhhhooooooooo :)

6 days left. Alhamdullilah. Balik Kampung. Finally. After 4?5?Years.

Wuhhhoooooowwwuuuuhhhoooowwuuhhoooowwuuuuhhhhoooowwuuuhhhhooooo

My Stranger

I've never told you this, I do fancy you. You are by far not on the list of my needs right now. But somehow, you've appeared in my life. Showing me, teaching me the ways of life.

Never thought that you would choose me. Never would have thought fate would bring me a person such as you into my life. And for that I am very grateful.

I know, the moment I set my eyes on you I will be safe. I know you cannot do me wrong. I see truth. I am where I belong. Finally I know I am not alone.

I would like to think that we were never strangers, You and I. I would like to think that we've just drifted apart for a while, waiting for the right time to reconcile. You and I, we're meant to be.

You are my stranger. As I am yours.

You had me at Hello. Welcome to my world stranger.

[Blackbuterfly]

Kepastian Cinta

Permintaan hatiku, adalah untuk bersama mu. Diriku hilang bila jauh daripada mu. Diriku, hatiku, akan sentiasa setia kepadamu. Engkau lah pada tempat ku bahagia. Inilah kepastian hati ku.

[Blackbuterfly]

Knock, Knock

Knock- knock, the sound of my door. What can be lingering outside my door at midnight. Scared. I say my prayers as I reach for my door.

I listen carefully for the footsteps or breathings outside. No sound. "Who is it?" I asked. No reply.

I decided not to open.

My phone then started to ring. Ring. Ring.

It was an unknown call. As I picked it up, no one was heard on the other line. I hung up.

Knock, knock goes my door again. I decided to let it go. It is midnight after all. I have to catch up with my sleep.

My phone received a text. It was an empty text, from an unknown number. Scary.

Knock knock. My door sounds again. From my bed I asked "who is it?" No reply

As I approach my door. I say my prayers for it to be something worth while.

I opened the door. I thank the Al-Mighty for His gracious gift.

Lesson of the story, Never be afraid to grab odd opportunities. They are a gift from above. You might not get a second chance. Great things comes in small packages. Be thankful for everything you have and everything you do not have. Everything happens for a reason.

As for what I receive tonight, we'll just reserve that story for another time.

Take care,

Blackbuterfly.

The thing is..

She said that I should just stop writing on this blog. No one reads it anyway. Even if it's being read once a while, all the readers are ever going to read about is complete utter nonsense. Kata-kata dari adik manja ku.

Well, to me writing on this blog is a must. If I do not release the tension here, it will be placed else where. Individuals that surrounds me will suffer the consequence.

Besides that of the topic above, I've decided to change the layout of this site. It looked completely dull before. Now I think it is absolutely suited my moods and for the things I'm about to write in the future.

As for now, as I lay on this bed waiting for the drug to kick in to put me to sleep. I beat you adieu. I've been attacked by the Flu virus.

Till next time.

Blackbuterfly

Say what you need to say

It hurts when you expect something to happen that day, but it doesn't happen. You go out, everything falls into place but by the end of the day, the important thing does not happen. It hurts. It can really mess up you mind and mood.

It hurts having something bottled up in you for so long. It hurts knowing. It hurts hearing. It hurts hoping.

I just wish we could all say what we need to say. So none of us linger in the midst of what if's.

Is it that hard to confess?Is it that hard to say?

Just say what you need to say

-Blackbuterfly-

Thoughts on Examination

Janganlah engkau meninggalkan diriku di awan yang terpilu. Kerana mimpi ku yang di cinta, aku menjadi kembara. Diriku kini bagai camar, melintas laut mencari pohon untuk berteduh.

Kerana diri ku telah menikmati cintamu, aku kembara mengikut lagu dari bisikan hati yang mendamba hati yang paling setia.

Kini diri ku yang dulu dihadiahkan sepasang sayap tidak terlihat lagi. Menjadikan seumpama mimpi yang tersimpan. Jadi rintik rintik hujan, menciptakan awan yang terpilu.

Rintihan didalam puisi ini terhampas lantas, kerna tidak kesampaian hajat yang meronakan. Gelora rindu ku kepadamu. Jangan lah engkau menipu usaha ku untuk mencapai cita-cita ku. Kerna itu lah cinta ku.

Ingin sekali aku ungkapkan isyarat jiwa dengan sempurna supaya kau mengerti. Supaya kau sedari, keadaan ku yang memerlukan mu untuk diriku mencapai impianku.

-izati-

Something Written

Jadilah seorang wanita dalam bekas kaca yang sukar disentuh. Hanya orang yang mampu sahaja dapat memilikinya.- Surga Cinta, Movie 2009.

Neverland is an escape from humanity, above all else into insanity so let all take a ride forever and try to avoid calamity,
We all live our agony, but i live for my life for my family so one day i could give them peace of mind that i always dreamt of.
Salvation is goal, the protector is my role- Fahim Ibrahim, My little Brother, 2010.

-izati-

20 years ago

02.03.1990

That's 20years ago. Wondering if Neverland accepts those of many years.

Wondering if I keep on clapping, would Tinkerbell gives me that last bit of magical sand.

Nothing wrong with keeping faith and keep on believing right? :)

20 years ago, mummy and daddy and I believe, a doctor and nurse, first heard me cry.

20 years ago, I smiled for the first time.

20 years ago, I made my parents smile.

20 years ago, my parents had their first non-sleeping, stress filled night due to my baby cries.

That was 20 years ago.

Now, 20 years then, I'm praying that I will still be able to put that longed missed smile of my parents.

Now, 20 years then, I'm wishing that all my prayers will come true.

Now, 20 years then, I'm praying that my life will be filled with meaning.

20 years now, I'm waiting for my prince to bring me my missing glass high heeled shoe.

20 years now, I'm waiting for my dreams to come true.

20 years now, I'm still hoping that I can see Neverland and stay there.

-Izati-

A NIGHT STORY BY ACOUSTIC [Part 2]

She’s not mad at me is she?

Who? Her. She always fancies you ever since she first saw you.

Look at her face. That’s worse than a bull on a rampage. Hahahaha.

What I would have given for that laugh… He’s so serious, yet so funny. Hahaha.

She’s just… so…

Now I really wish he was here… we would have looked so perfectly made for each other…

… lovely… He would have kissed me by now… and hold on to me so tightly…

God, please let this night last longer…

He’s shaking… God… please help me…

You okay? Hm? You don’t look so good. Nah, I’m fine.

…You sure? You’re making me worry…

No, no, don’t be. I’m okay… really…

You know you can alwa- Look!

(boom… boom…)Wow… biggest one I’ve ever seen.

I love the ones that look like a rose. They’re so pretty.

I just love all of them… I remember the first time my dad brought me to a fireworks display.

When was that?

When I was really small… he used to put me on his shoulder and I would hold on to his head. And mom would bring the food to us. She always bring too much. Hahaha.

… You really miss them don’t you?

…

Sometimes I really don’t know how you can live all by yourself. I mean, if I were you, I wouldn’t be able to last even a whole day, let alone 5 years.

Hey, a man gotta survive. That’s what us humans used to be. Survivors in nature.

Still… it must’ve been tough eh?

Yeah… they were good people… You always do stuff together?

We used to go somewhere every weekend… sometimes it’s the beach, sometimes it’s Empire, sometimes it’s just a movie at the mall. My dad used to teach me how to best take care of a woman. What’s that supposed to mean?

I mean, how to attract them, how not to, how to make them hate you, how to love a woman… stuff like that. But even with that sort of education, he and mom were the most perfect of couples. If you had seen them around, you would never think they had been married for long.

But didn’t your mom do anything about what he taught you?

She refused to “play” with him for the day. Hahahaha.

And my mom used to cook loads of great food. I may be the only son, but she cooked dinner like it was for 10.

Did you finish it all? Nah, my dad does. Hahahaha.

And dad used to bring me out to run, and usually drags mom to jog with him.

No wonder you guys never get fat.

And he trains me like I’m a recruit or something. What do expect from a Brigadier with an only son anyway. But I owe these six packs to him though.

They must be great parents.… I never appreciated them much… not until…

It was at Jerudong wasn’t it?

He never wanted to leave mom’s side, no matter where… never came back... and he left me stranded on a boat.

You were lucky the storm didn’t get you. I was lucky I even made it out alive.

Yeah… I remember waiting for you to wake up at hospital.

That cut cost me a marathon. I was worried you know. Really?

Of course! I mean, who wouldn’t be worried when their best friend ended up in hospital?

Over a small cut like that? It was huge!

I wouldn’t know. It’s not nice having bandages all over you leg when you try to jog.

Were you? I thought you had to rest for a couple of weeks.

It feels better to move around rather than lie down all the time.

Why did you want to leave the house anyway? We were like family weren’t we?

Yeah, but I can never leave the house my parents left me, could I? Even if it means living all by myself.

You didn’t have to run away. I guessed your parents wouldn’t let me.

[end part 2]

A NIGHT STORY BY ACOUSTIC [Part 1]

Close your eyes, I want to show you something.

I wonder what he is up to this time. Hee. Kay, but don’t keep it too long. You’re making me curious.

Promise you won’t look.

Yeah, I promise.

Well, close your eyes then. This way.

…

You can look now. Woowwww~! That’s so beautiful! You think so?

Yeeaahhh! I can see everything from up here… look! That’s the island we went to the other day.

I know. I couldn’t believe it’s that far.

Yeah, it was. But it was worth the boat trip wasn’t it? The wind, the smell of the sea, the sky, blue everywhere…

I lost my cap.

Well that’s your own fault for not holding on to it. I told you over and over you should hold on to it.

You could have spoken louder.

Its common sense isn’t it? I bought you that as well.

I made up for you didn’t I?

Yeah. I haven’t had McDonalds’s in a long time. Hahaha.

……………

This is the first time we all have ever done this together. It really is fun. I mean, no parents, just you and your friends. You really were telling the truth. Hahaha.

What, you thought I was lying? I told you it would be worth your while. Only you kept on saying oh, I don’t want to. What if this, what if that… now look who’s smiling all the time?

Can’t I? Hahaha. I had the greatest time of my life. Why wouldn’t I be smiling?

Well, I’m just glad you had fun. Really?

Yeah. Makes it all the more worthwhile for all that effort in trying to persuade you into coming here.

Yiiihhhhh~ I thought you really meant it there. But I did!

Hahaha.

……………………………

I wish he was here right now… It would’ve been so much more fun if he was here. He really knows how to have a good time. And all this fun we could have had together.

You miss him?

Yeah… but at least he told me he’ll propose to me as soon as he got back. That’ll make things more “official”. That gives me something to look forward to!

Did he? Good for you then.

Hey... something wrong. No. Why?

Dunno. You kinda spaced out a bit just now. Was I? My mind was somewhere else just now.

That got me thinking. When exactly are you going to get a girlfriend?

Why ask that question all of a sudden?

Just suddenly crossed my mind. Haven’t found a girl who can steal that lion heart of yours?

Well… not really.

Not really?? Really?! Wowwww! I thought no one could have attracted you even the least bit. Who’s the lucky girl then?

Nah, not gonna tell you. Awww, cmonnnn.

No, seriously. Im not gonna say anything. And she probably wouldn’t want me anyway.

No girl can resist you, you know. I have lots of girl friends who keep bugging me, asking me for your phone number and your email.

Did you tell them then? Yeah. Cos some of them look like good matches to you.

If that’s what you think then I’m not interested. You always pick the wrong type of girls.

Every girl is the wrong type to you. You just can’t settle for one nice girl and stick to her.

You know I never had a girlfriend before.

Really? How about that girl the other day you were with at the mall? What girl?

You know. The one in West Street with you. I was gonna watch a movie, and I saw you in there with her.

She was stalking me, and stuck to me till I had to be harsh to her. What did you do?

Said that I’m not interested in her, she’s the most boring person I ever met, and although she’s cute but she certainly isn’t my type.

That’s really mean of you. What happened then?

Got slapped. Hahahaha.

It wasn’t my fault. She’s the one who stalked me.

Well, you are pretty cold hearted on women. Not everyone.

Cos I’m your friend from childhood, dummy. Of course you can’t be cold to me. If you are then I won’t ever speak to you again.

Hahaha. You know I won’t. Anyway, who is this girl you fancy?

Are you still getting on with this? Let’s just drop it okay?

Not until you tell me who she is. Why are you so curious anyway?

Cos I know you since we were small. It’ll be good to finally see you going out with someone other than me. And no girl ever won your heart before.

You’re being too dramatic.

Cmoooonnnnnnn~ just tell meee. What’s so hard about it?

You won’t understand.

How do you know I wouldn’t? I just do.

Yeah, Mr. Know-it-all. And since when I never understand your problems? I’m always there for you aren’t I?

Yeah, true. Still, I’m not gonna tell you.

You are such an ass. Hahaha.

You got me all curious now. I’m not gonna let this go you know, so might as well tell me now.

Not now, alright.

If not now, when? We’re not gonna see each other in a veerryyy long time after this you know.

Well… Just tell me. Pleeeaaaseee~?

… alright alright. But promise me you won’t be over reactive later.

Why would I be over reactive?

Hey, I know you. You get all perked up over things like this. More than you necessarily should.

Hahaha. Alright, I promise. Well, here goes…

You don’t have to be so nervous. Hahaha.

Wait… they’re playing a song now. Another acoustic.

Heyyyyy~ this is that songgg. I love this one!

Care for a dance then?

I didn’t know you can dance. You don’t know half the things about me.

Just don’t stamp on my shoes. They’re brand new.

I bought them for you, silly. Oh yeah. Hahaha.

Anyway…

His hands… they’re so… so warm. Now that I think of it, he never touched me before. His grip on me… that’s so… soft…maybe this is why everyone’s wanted him so much.

Sigh…

He really can dance. If only he can dance like this. I would ask him to dance to this song with me everyday. Hahaha.

It’s such a perfect night. Why can’t it not be that way…? This so sucks…

Why is his heart thumping so hard? He can’t be that nervous can he?

So warm… I’m not gonna be able to stand this. Her hands… so soft…

He looks so handsome tonight… why haven’t I notice it before? It’s probably cos of the suit… makes him look smarter than he already is. Hahaha.

So beautiful… so near, and yet so far away.

All the guys are watching… this is soooo weird.

It’s cos of you… you’re so stunning under the moonlight.

[end part 1]

With thoughts

With all that's been happening. I do hope this time around you'll stay.

No more of the foolish fights and battles.

No more of those unnecessary exchange of words that were created by lies.

I want to rest in peace. This time around.

Mungkin kini ku akan tenang disampingmu

[izati]

New Year.

This is a really late post for the greeting the New Year, 2010. It's better late than never.

What was great about last year. I guess, I have to say about the most part of last year. From the start of it, Jan 2009 till June 2009. Twas great. I am greatly missing those moments where I feel that I can fly freely without noticing the consequences. Without thinking about the consequences.

All great dreams has come to an end. Sadly.

The year began well 2009. Ended with a crash.

That's all in the past now. I sense a new direction for me in the year 2010. Start anew. Turn over a new leaf. Let the past be a lesson. Let it not bring yourself down. The future not depends on what happened in the past. It depends on the decisions that we make out of it. :)

Set sail for the bright new future that's ahead.

-izati-

Mon Coeur

All I ask from you is to be truthful. Untuk kau selalu setia.

I ask from you to be there for me, especially for the times I need you the most.

Saat diriku luka. When my world seem to come to an end.

My promise, is to take care of you. From your waking days to your sleeping nights.

Be it in your dreams and reality world
I will always be there for you. In life now and thereafter.

Jangan engkau pergi tinggalkan diriku.

I know I'm just a weak being. Yang selalu jatuh. Unlike, you, able to withstand anything.

I'm nothing compared to you. When you appeared, all I can do is run. Sadly, when I stopped running. You decide to pretend and move away. You gave up.

This is as heart full as I can do here.

I've tried to do the right thing. Asked myself, if it's really the right thing to do. Asked if it's really meant for me to keep. Meant for me to fight. Meant for me to prove. When I try to forget. Once more, when I try to run away. Things and paths just seems to cross again. I've tried avoiding. I've tried blocking. I've tried ignoring, though it hurts me doing so.

In my confusion, path just seemed to cross again. Right now, my only fight is to get into the right path. I'm only searching for the truth.

All I can do now, is hope for the better. I cannot, and for will ever, know if the thing that I'm doing is the right thing to do. All I know, when that thing feels right. When that thing feels surreal. When that thing feels forever. You should cherish it. Not to question it. Not to doubt it.

[izati]

Ne me quitte pas

Tu me manque beacoup. Take time to realise, I am by your side. I'm right here. In front of you. I can't keep on spelling it out for you.

Est-ce que tu m'entend? We don't have to wonder, if we missed out on each other. Because that's the reality right now. I've been waiting. But, I can't keep on spelling it out to you.

Mon etoile d'espoir, ne me quitte pas, s'il vous plait.

Di sebalik kesulitan ada kebaikan.

-izati-