Escargot

It's funny how your days seemed so dull and slow, when you've just spent a whole day filled with interesting moments. Feelings felt such as today is one of the feelings that I dread to experience. As much as I do not want to admit it, I am very much afraid for my future. For the first time, I've became lost in the uncertainty. It would do me peace, if I stop encountering people asking me if I'm alright and what's my next move after this. Honestly speaking, I have no idea. I do not know where to turn.

By the end of the day, I have to take the risk. This part of my life is slow like the pace of an Escargot. May it be escargot, or leopard speed, I just pray that I'll be out from this uncertainty soon. I pray that this escargot pace, will lead me to something real and worth while in the right path.

-blackbuterfly-

Escargot

It's funny how your days seemed so dull and slow, when you've just spent a whole day filled with interesting moments. Feelings felt such as today is one of the feelings that I dread to experience. As much as I do not want to admit it, I am very much afraid for my future. For the first time, I've became lost in the uncertainty. It would do me peace, if I stop encountering people asking me if I'm alright and what's my next move after this. Honestly speaking, I have no idea. I do not know where to turn.

By the end of the day, I have to take the risk. This part of my life is slow like the pace of an Escargot. May it be escargot, or leopard speed, I just pray that I'll be out from this uncertainty soon. I pray that this escargot pace, will lead me to something real and worth while in the right path.

-blackbuterfly-

Escargot

It's funny how your days seemed so dull and slow, when you've just spent a whole day filled with interesting moments. Feelings felt such as today is one of the feelings that I dread to experience. As much as I do not want to admit it, I am very much afraid for my future. For the first time, I've became lost in the uncertainty. It would do me peace, if I stop encountering people asking me if I'm alright and what's my next move after this. Honestly speaking, I have no idea. I do not know where to turn.

By the end of the day, I have to take the risk. This part of my life is slow like the pace of an Escargot. May it be escargot, or leopard speed, I just pray that I'll be out from this uncertainty soon. I pray that this escargot pace, will lead me to something real and worth while in the right path.

-blackbuterfly-

Rose Garden.

One of the things that I enjoy doing during my free-days, is getting close to nature.
Since the rumors of exam results have been going around screaming that it'll be posted up by the end of this week. I decided to pull a make-up face (which is really rare for me to be dolled up), wear a dress and put on my comfortable heels and go for walk around london. The guys, Rasid, Razli and Khairul also took up the challenge, we agreed on not using the transportation available to us.

It turned out to be a really nice walk. From hyde park, to Buckingham Palace to Big Ben, to London Bridge, to London Eye then straight back home. No bus. No tube. No taxi. Just our strength and energy.
Sigh. How I wish this can free days can last. I just don't want to have to face reality just yet. Not ready.

3 years.

3 years. Still in waiting. Just finished my exams. I HATE the wait. it's tiring. I want results to be published now. Spare me from the anxiety. Owh, examinations results come out now please.

-zati-

ps. Sannah helwa Bubu :)

Stress Free :)

<3 With Najihah, Farhana, Bulan dan Bintang.
24th April 2011, Hydepark London

Mornings

This is a trick that was taught by my awesome grandmother who passed it to my mother :)

To have gorgeous melodic voice, all you have to do every morning is to brew yourself tea. Then add 1 Table spoon of honey and squeeze out a whole lemon.

It's that simple.

-Izati-

Menikmati Sun-rise

Restless. Not so Awesome flight.

But, the warmth of the sun

Made the beginning of my Day worth Smiling for

PS: Believe it or not, my phone was playing the song "Here comes the sun" - the Beatles.

Numbered

My days are NUMBERED. Once again I have to endure and face the reality. I once again have to leave what I love. Sigh. In the words of Bruno Mars - Grenade "Black, black, black and blue beat me till I'm numb Tell the devil I said “hey” when you get back to where you're from Mad woman, bad woman,That's just what you are, yeah, Gave you all I had And you tossed it in the trash"

I only ask this one simple question, "Hiding won't hide it, Smiling won't hide it, How do I get from an all time low?" The Wanted - All time low.

Sigh. If only I was flying fun. Or at least as a host of traveler program. Free hotel. Free fly. New places. New people. New language. The fun part, being in front of the camera. HAHA!

Tapi tidak mengapa, in about 3months time, I shall be back. Again :) Tell the World I’m coming home Let the rain wash away all the pain of yesterday I know my kingdom awaits and they’ve forgiven my mistakes - Diddy, Coming home.

For now I have to make believe that, Love is all that I can give you, Love is more than a game for two, Two in love can make it, Take my heart and please don't break it. Love is made for me and you. - Nat King Cole L.O.V.E

Because every time I think of you I feel this, She was dancing sexy, pop, pop, popping, dropping, dropping low. Never ever has a lady hit me on the first sight - Usher, OMG

I am sorry to my first, because, Karena ku cinta kau dan dia Maafkanlah ku tak bisa Tinggalkan dirinya - AdiFasha, Aku cinta kau dan dia.

EXAMINATIONS. This is how much I feel about IT. sarcastically. Mabye.

[Izati]

It's that time again

Family that is constantly on the move is how I would describe my family. Brunei Darussalam is just a resting point. No matter what we do, we cannot avoid being sent away. Tapi inda mengapalah. Aku tidak akan mengeluh. This is for the better. Lagipun, bukan sembarangan tempat yang hendak dituju. InsyaAllah everything is going to be awesome as always.

As of now I have 3 places I can call home.

View Larger Map

-Izati-

Syair Siti Sianah

Setengah Perempuan terlalu janggalnya,

Roma dimuka pula dicukurnya,

Seperti taji berandam di keningnya,

Kemudian memakai dengan selengkapnya.

Mengagak mengilai terlalu suka,

Melihat laki-laki tampakkan muka,

Supaya laki2 boleh meyangka,

Ianya elok tiada terhingga.

Setengah perempuan sangat pesolek,

Berhias berdandan berpakai molek,

Didalam cermin muka ditelek,

Kanan dan kiri dibelek-belek.

Meskipun tiada berapa eloknya,

Ada yang setengah kembang hidungnya,

Serta pula kepik batangnya,

Seperti buaya besar mulutnya.

Setengah perempuan perangainya cela,

Habis dipenuhi rambut kepala,

Rambut yang sikit disiputnya pula,

Memakai cemara berjela-jela.

Terkadang muka dibubuh pupuri,

Kaki dan tangan,lengan dan jari,

Jadilah rupanya putih berseri,

Pekerjaan tipu sangat digemari.

Setengah perempuan yang makan angkat,’

memakai gelang bertingkat-tingkat,

Memandang laki2 matanya lekat,

Dengan jantan suka berdekat.

Kaki dan tangan dinaikkan pula,

Pura-pura dikatakan ubat segala,

Hakikatnya diketahui Allah taala,

Supaya laki2 berhati gila.

Berlindunglah kita kepada Allah,

Daripada perbuatan yang amat salah,

Mudah-mudahan dilepaskan,

Jangan menjadi betina sempolah.

Setengahnya suka bermain judi,

Inilah perangai banyak terjadi,

Habislah tergadai intan serudi,

Kerana perangai sudah membadi.

Laki-laki perempuan bertindih lutut,

Banyaklah kelakuan yg tidak patut,

Sembahyang ibadat sudahlah bantut,

Kerana syaitan duduk dibuntut...

~Abu Hassan Sham(Puisi2 raja Ali Haji)

I just want to remind myself and all the ladies out there, kita sebagai wanita haruslah menjaga pergaulan kita antara lelaki. Janganlah kita terlampau bebas. Kerana lelaki yang tidak bertanggung jawab akan membinasakan kita.

Kita sebagai wanita mesti menjaga akhlak dan adab sopan santun supaya tidak dieksploitasi oleh lelaki yang tidak bertanggung jawab.

Kita sebagai wanita mesti lah menjaga kecantikan diri tetapi janganlah sampai berlebih-lebihan. Kerana ini boleh menimbulkan fitnah.

Tercatit dalam sejarah Islam, bahawa ayat 1-2 Surah at-Tahrim turun disebabkan angkara isteri-isteri baginda. Ketika baginda habis meminum madu di rumah isteri baginda Saudah, dia berkata bahawa ada bau yang busuk. Begitu juga ketika baginda selesai meminum madu di rumah Aisyah, dia diberitahu bahawa ada bau yang busuk. Lalu Rasulullah saw kerana untuk menjaga hati isterinya telah berjanji untuk tidak meminum madu lagi.

Allah lalu menurunkan firman Nya : "Hai Nabi, mengapa kamu mengharamkan apa yang Allah halalkan bagimu, kamu mencari kesenangan hati isteri-isteri kamu?" (at-Tahrim : 1)Perlu ditegaskan bahawa fitnah wanita tidak selalunya datang dari arah wanita itu sendiri. Bahkan selalunya godaan nafsu dalamlah yang menjadi pendorong bagi lelaki untuk mendekati wanita dan melakukan maksiat. Oleh kerana itu, wanita atau isteri bukanlah musuh yang sebenarnya yang perlu dijauhi. Perlakuan yang berlaku adalah antara dua jenis ini adalah gambaran umum tentang bentuk perhubungan yang diwujudkan.

Apabila masing-masingnya memberi perhatian yang wajar untuk sama-sama membina kebahagiaan, maka mereka akan mengecapinya dengan sempurna. Abu Hurairah ra berkata bahawa Rasulullah saw bersabda : "Sesempurna iman seseorang ialah yang paling baik budi pekertinya,dan sebaik-baik kamu ialah yang terbaik pergaulannya terhadap isterinya." (Riwayat Tirmizi). Dan dalam sebuah hadis dari Abdullah bin Amru al-Ash, bahawa Rasulullah bersabda : "Dunia ini adalah perhiasan dan sebaik-baik perhiasan ialah wanita yang solehah." (Riwayat Muslim)

"http://www.iluvislam.com/v1/readarticle.php?article_id=1534"

-izati-

Remaja

Kesempurnaan dalam hidup memang tidak ada. Kesempuraan hanya boleh dinilai dengan kebahagiaan.

Sebagai anak kita mesti mendoakan kesejahteraan hidup ibu bapa kita :) Sebagai seorang remaja yang mencari kebahagiaan, carilah kebahagiaan itu disisi keluarga. Yang baik jadikan tauladan, yang buruk jadikan sempadan. Agar kelak remaja-remaja apabila dewasa dapat membina keluarga and mendidik anak kejalan yang diredhai. Jangan sekali-kali kita menyelahkan apa yang terjadi kerah ibubapa kita.kaya kemereka. Miskin kah meraka.itu hak mereka.

Sebagai anak, kita mesti berusaha untuk mengubah hidup mereka. Menyenangkan hidup mereka. Sebagai mana mereka telah berkorban dengan sedaya upaya mereka untuk membahagiakan kita.

[izati]

All.The.Same

People. Human beings. Human nature. Individuals.

What distinguishes us? What differentiates us from one another?

Is it on the way we look? How we dress? How we talk? How we walk? The amount of gucci bags we have or is it the way we work out the pair of Louis Vuitton shoes? The way we drive our BMW cars or rather have drivers drive us around in the BMW?

Think about it, how do we usually differentiate between each other. I know, and I will admit it, I always compare people by the materials that they have. How they strut their materials owning. It's one of my guilty pleasure. It is after all the easiest way to describe a stranger to another person.

Why this is so?

I think, it is because what we see on the person becomes and to us defines that person. Admit it or not, we judge people by how they cover themselves. I hate to admit this, but I do this a whole lot. When ever I'm out and about and boredom strikes, my eyes tend to wonder around. This is when the guilty pleasure kicks in. I start to judge those particular individuals by how they dress. I once saw this lady in a very lovely-knee short-summer dress. I could see that she was covering her arm by wearing long sleeves underneath her dress. She covered her hair with scarf perfectly. The heels that she was wearing completely complimented the green-lilac bag that she was accessorizing. Her outfit was gorgeous. The only thing that upset me was that her legs was showing. I found it really odd of her to be covered only from her head to her knees. Only to her knees. With this I then began to judge her. Saying how she should just take off her scarf, because it's not worth her time covering. Questioning to myself why did she not bother covering her legs. Her legs weren't that that pretty to show off anyways. It was a weird thing to see that time. I will forever remember her as the pretty dress but not so much leg person.

A split second after she walked past by me, it suddenly hit me. My conscience asked me, Who am I to judge that person. Do I even know that person to judge her by her looks. Do I consider myself as perfect, hence why I criticized that person for not covering her legs.

The thought came to me, we are all the same. She was somehow, weirdly enough, my alternate alter-ego. Because at that moment, even though I was covered from head to feet, my coverings were tight on me. Which to me is not the definition of covering properly t0 the public eyes. But I wore it anyway. We are all the same. No matter how different it may seem to us on how we wear things. What car we drive. How big our house is. The amount of gold and diamonds we own. We are all the same.

The only thing that can differentiate me and that 'pretty dress but not so much leg person' is my personality and hers. And of course. Her DNA and mine. It is been researched that only 1 in a million that a person's DNA can be the same as another person.

Why personality? I personally think that it's because our differences in experiencing life is different, therefore with theses completely different background experience, different personality will develop.

We.Are.All.The.Same.

-Izati-

Bulan Dan Bintang

Detik terus berjalan dunia semakin tua

pergi dan datang pergantian manusia semakin jaya.

dalam kebingungan dunia terbahagi dua

kalah atau menang masih ditanda tanya

yang nyata sekarang berpecah-pecah barisan kita

terdampar dibatu karang haluan tiada lemah tenaga

kalau direnung ke zaman lampau berkilauan cahaya

segalanya hidup bergerak akihrat dan dunia

tapi...apakah kita masih mimpi dialam tidak bermakna

itu khayal, khayal kalau usaha tiada.

Dicari, dibongkar seluruh rahsia gemilang

iman, takwa, persaudaraan dan terus berjuang

bukan bekalan hanya bibir dan lidah dizaman mereka

kitab Al-Quran difahamkan, dilaksanakan penuh percaya.

Dibongkar, Dicari mengapa runtuh keagunganmu

rahsia sakti pudar, hilang kembang pun layu

daging dimamah, harta dikejar, dihati takut tiada

kekhilafan bermaharajarela, pada Quran hanya telinga

Detik terus berjalan dunia semakin tua

demikianlah nasib handalan jatuh dilembah hina.

SHUKRI ZAIN, Damai dalam sentuhan.

In conjunction of the coming new year 2011. Remember, Kita didunia hanyalah untuk sementara. Tidak ada ertinya jika kita megahkan our bag Louis Vuitton, our perfume Channel, our car BMW and our huge house. This is because, all we bring to the end is our Iman. Hidup didunia hanyalah sementara. Bersedialah untuk Akhirat.

-izati-

Jatuh

Apabila jatuh, kembali lah bangun. If you stay jatuh, nanti senang dipijak orang. Bila kita bangun, kita rasa satu keajaiban yang sungguh menarik.

Tidak ada maknanya if we decide to stay jatuh. Tidak ada maknanya if we decide to give up.

I believe that we fail in the task in hand because, Tuhan sengaja menemukan yang salah sebelum kita tahu yang lurus. Supaya kita lebih sempurna and lebih ikhlas bila masa yang lurus itu datang menjemu di hari kelak.

Tidak ada maknanya jika kita seharian suntuk berbaring di katil. Tidak ada maknanya jika kita seharian meraung. Tidak ada maknanya jika kita seharian mengikut dan melayan perasaan.

Elok kita mencari jalan keluar dari masalah. Elok kita berdoa meminta pertolongan dariNya.

Tuhan tidak akan memberi dugaan jika Dia tidak pasti yang kita boleh bangun selepasnya. Kerana Dia selalu pasti. Kerana Dia yang menentukan apa yang ada, dan tidak ada. Kerana Dia yang Maha Berkuasa and Maha Mengetahui.

[Izati]

Renungan

"Jodoh dan pertemuan semuanya di tangan Allah SWT. Manusia hanya perancang di pentas dunia ini dan skripnya ditulis oleh yang maha esa. Adakalanya, dalam memainkan peranan sebagai pelakon, diberi petunjuk melalui mimpi atau gerak hati. Mimpi memang mainan tidur, tetapi apabila kita melakukan sembahyang Istikharah dan memohon supaya Allah memberikan petunjuk, insya-Allah dengan izinnya kita mendapat petunjukNya. Jika dia pilihan kita, buatlah keputusan sebaiknya. Jika tidak, tolaklah dia dengan baik. Semua yang kita lakukan ini adalah bagi mendapatkan kebahagiaan hidup di dunia. Setelah semuanya diusahakan, berserahlah kepadaNya dan terus berdoa. Ingatlah, nikmat di dunia ini hanya sementara.Nikmat di akhirat adalah kekal selamanya. "

http://djfisau.frenzyfm.my/blog/2010/11/10-petanda-dia-jodoh-kita/

Romantism

Someone asked me recently, in the near future, what would you consider to be the most romantic thing you would want your other person do to you?

I said to the person, it's sufficient that he brings me to the movie, dinner, a walk through the park and occasionally his declaration of love.

Seriously, that is not what I think is romantic. Yes, that would be a cheerful day. Making my heart melt.

This is what I would have said.

The most romantic thing, in the nearest future for me would be for him to write me a song. About me and him. About his feelings towards me. Then after perfecting the song, he signs up for the upcoming BruManch Talentime. He buys me the ticket to the show. Surprising me that he's performing. He goes on the stage, dedicating and performing the song that he wrote to me. After that, I receive a note to go to backstage.

Upon arriving backstage, I see him standing with his guitar holding a big huge card and bouquet of lilies. Telling me that he love me and asks me if i'm willing to be his assistant for the rest of his life.

That would be the lovely thing. :)

I wonder if he remembers that this was his initial plan for his 3rd year studying in London.

[izati]

Perkataan

Perkataan. Words.

Why can't people say the words that are meant to be said? Why do they end up saying the words that are not supposed to be said?

Adakah berkata jujur itu berat bagi kita? Is it that heavy to say what is true? Why is it so easy for us to tell lies? Is it because we fancy our fantasies better that our reality? Is it because we hope that through lies, we can achieve greatness in our lives?

Kata-katamu tadi itu memang menyakitkan. Kata-katamu itu pun telah menjadi panah yang menusuk kejiwaku. Andainya fitnah itu senang dihapuskan. Kamu tahu kah, fitnah itu dilarang. Fitnah itu kejam. Janganlah kamu ungkap, berkata apa yang kamu tidak tahu. Kita kan di ajar, berdiam itu lebih baik daripada berkata yang tidak berfaedah. Lebih baik kita meluangkan masa, fikiran, dan suara kita untuk berzikir dan berdoa kepadaNya.

For know, I choose not to care. For I know, the truth will be on my side. For Allah akan selalu menyebelahi orang yang berkata benar. InsyaAllah.

[Blackbuterfly]

Semuanya adalah takdir

Dalam perhubungan cinta perlu ada keikhlasaan, kejujuran dan kesetiaan. Hati kita dah pun pilih hati dirinya, so subconsciously we feel obliged to make the other happy. To make their heart filled with pleasure and all the happiness in the world every passing day. If they get hurt, we feel will feel awful. Kalaulah kita mencintai hatinya, kita akan menjaga dirinya dengan tulus ikhlas hita kita.

Tapi, if one day it was destined to be apart. Datanglah hari yang penuh dengan kedukaan. Hari yang mengecewakan. Itulah adalah sudah yang tertulis bagi kita. Maka kita akan tentu rasa sia-sia kepada apa yang kita pernah lakukan padanya. Terbuang masa kita mencintai dirinya. Why should we be feeling this way? Kita seharusnya bersabar. Janganlah kita bersedih. Janganlah kita mengecewakan apa yang telah berlaku. Kerana, hanya Dia yang tahu apa yang terbaik bagi hambanya. Dia ada kuasa untuk bagi kita rezeki. Dia juga ada kuasa untuk menarik balik apa yang telah diberiNya. Kita seharusnya bersyukur yang kita telah dibagi kebahagiaan walaupun untuk sementara. Walaupun kita kehilangan dirinya (be it to another person), kita harus mendoakan baginya yang dia akan terus hidup dengan penuh bahagia. Jangan sekali-kali kita hampa. Kita harus tabah.

Cinta itu hanyalah satu perasaan manusia. Ianya semudah pergi seperti ianya semudah datang tanpa diduga. Tanpa kita mencarinya. Tanpa kita mengetahuinya.

Cinta antara manusia tidak akan kekal selamanya. Yang kekal adalah cinta kepada yang Esa. That's why we should love Him first. Pray because of Him. Work because of Him. Live because of Him. He gave us life. He gave us our mother to love us. He gave us our father to protect us. Be thankful to our parents. Be grateful to Allah.

Jikalah kita ditakdir berjauhan dengan insan yang kita cintai, kita harus menghadapinya dengan penuh tabah. Dengan penuh kesabaran. Sebab segalanya ada kebaikannya. Remember, He will not test us, if we can't survive it. Every problem in this world has it's own solution. It's up to us to find it. :)

Kerana semua itu adalah takdir. Kita tidak mampu menolak apa yang tertulis. Kita sebagai manusia mesti berusaha untuk apa yang kita kehendaki. Teruskan kehidupan.

Jikalah itu memang jodoh kita, percayalah, dia tidak akan hilang dari kita. Malah, segala yang kita harungi selama ini adalah untuk mendekati orang yang akan memahami isi hati kita. Insan yang akan menolong kita memenuhi iman kita dan mendekati diri kita dengan Allah. Dialah yang akan menjadi teman sejati dunia dan akhirat. InsyaAllah.

Do not lose hope.

Assalamualaikum.

Izati.

Come save me now.

Destiny. I have faith in you. Please tell me this is for the better of things. Please tell me everything is going to be okay. Everything is going to be fine.

The hero of my life. Come save me now.

innocence

Innocence is a term used to indicate a general lack of guilt.

I want to present the world that I do lack of guilt. I did not do the things that you claimed I did. You have no prove. The saying of the wind does not prove anything. You only listen to the things you want to listen. When in reality the truth that you are searching for have been trying to reach to you. The truth have been presented to you. It's been in front of your eyes. Open your heart. See with your open eyes and open minds.

Stop blaming me for the things that I did not do. For I did not do such things. I did not steal anyone. For I do not steal. The only thing I'm guilty of is leaving my heart in the hands of a stranger. I blame him for making me feel the way I feel right now. The only thing I'm guilty of is touching his bruised lonely heart. I pray that his heart stay with me. For I shall not force. For I do not force.

Listen with your heart, mind and eyes. Stop filtering the the voices of the wind to only the things that you want to hear.

If you are still persistent with your version of truth, I am not afraid to face you. Come meet with me if you dare. I will present you with my truth. I am not afraid of you. I never had. I never will. Come if you dare.

I am now prepared to present the world my innocence.